So today was the day that I had booked to have my long hair chopped off. People kept saying to me that my hair may not fall out, why to risk it, why cut it off, just wait until it falls out and then chop it off. Erm….no. And I had a few reasons as to why I wanted to chop it off. Firstly, I had also wanted to donate my hair to charity!! I have always had long thick hair, and I have always thought about chopping it off and donating it, but I had never really had the guts to do it! But now, I had the perfect reason to do it! So why not!
Also, I was confident my hair would fall out, especially with the type of chemo I was having, and that I was having it every week! I couldn’t think of anything worse, than waking up in the morning and finding a clump of my hair still sitting on my pillow! Nope, not a fan of that image, also – could you imagine having a shower, and all the hair falling off and clogging up the plug! Nope, nope nope!
So, we decided to book my haircut with our regular hairdresser Keeley, and bless her, rather than having a regular appointment, she booked us in for 5.30, once the salon had closed so that we can have our privacy. How thoughtful!
So, it was time! Sat in the chair, I had decided on the haircut I wanted, short, clean, but also no fuss! I cannot be bothered to do my hair in the mornings anyway, I didn’t want to have to start fussing now!
As I was donating to charity, we brushed my hair made sure there were no knots, separated the hair into 8 sections, and tied them up. (We had to do 8 as my hair is so thick!). It was time for the first cut! I looked at Laura and she just looked so sad and worried. I think she believed that this would be it. This would be the time that I finally break when my identity is being taken away from me and I will realize, that I have got cancer. But no – I was excited! I was getting a whole new identity! I was getting a new style, and I was also doing something I had wanted to do before – chop my hair off! I was in control of what was happening to me, so I wasn’t sad at all, as it was my choice!
I decided I wanted to make the first chop. Keeley handed me the scissors and I went at it! Oh my god! It is sooo hard to chop hair in a straight line! I hacked away at this portion of hair for at least 45 seconds before I had to hand it back over to Keeley to finish! It is not as easy as it looks!! But that was it – the first lump of hair gone – and my god, did it look awful! I’m not sure how, but I had made the hair shorter than originally planned due to my awful scissor skills, so we had to rethink the plan and go a bit shorter. Whoops!
I looked at Laura while beaming this big smile as I was soo happy that this next chapter had begun, but she just looked so sad with tears filling up her eyes. It was hard for her, as this was a sign, that I was ill. As of now, I looked the same, I felt the same, I didn’t “act” like I was poorly, but this was a sign that things were going to change. Also, Laura fell in love with me and with my long hair. Again, she saw it as part of me and part of who I am, so I think it was hard for her to see me go through this change. I did find it hard for me to console Laura while having my hair chopped, as I was excited to see my temporary new look!
Keeley took over and chopped the rest of the hair off (in straight lines I might add) and then proceeded to start on my new haircut! I told her, just go for it – do whatever you want, go short, go mad, just make it so I haven’t got to do too much in the morning! That was my only criteria! 😊
After about 30-45 minutes, it was done – and I loved it! I still looked like me, but with a much better hairdo! And it suited me! At the end of the session in the hair salon, I was super happy with my hair, and Laura also really liked to hairstyle, which I think then made it a lot easier for her to come to terms with, as it suited my face and it hadn’t changed me or who I am.
Once home, we wrapped up the hair, packaged it up ready to be sent off to the little princess trust to be donated to make a wig for a child who is going through cancer and has lost their hair.
When home, I felt good that I was able to put something that I love, my hair, to good use. It was only going to fall out anyway, and It allowed me to do something I had wanted to for ages. So yes, I have had to do it for a sad reason, but I wasn’t sad, not in the slightest. I got to help poor children who have gone through this awful disease feel like children again.
Can you imagine how awful it is for an adult to have to walk around without any hair and people funnily looking at you because you look slightly different from everyone else? The people looking at you are adults who probably understand that you must be unwell and going through treatment, and this is the reason you are bald.
Now imagine you are a child. A child who probably doesn’t understand themselves why they no longer have any hair.
They are going back into the world with other children who 100% don’t understand why their friend no longer has hair. Imagine being that child being looked at by other children and feeling different! It is hard enough as an adult, let alone being a young girl or a teenager. Now if that child can have hair, it is going to give them so much more confidence to get back into school, or to go and see friends and get on with their “New Normal”! I think this is why I wasn’t sad about losing my hair because I was able to give a child another chance at being a child without worrying about what they look like. That is what made me happy.
From the 10th December to the 17th December I decided I announced I was doing the haircut, and try to raise some money.
One of my friends and colleagues Nathan said straight away that if I hit £1000 then he would shave off his hair. I then sent this round to the whole of the office to make them away and to boost some money for charity.
By 7 pm on the first day, we had raised £1020! Sorry Nath, say goodbye to your hair! True to his word, on the 16th December in the middle of the office, he had all his hair shaved off.
Unfortunately, as I was too unwell with Tonsillitis, I wasn’t able to join in, so they face timed me from work while I was in bed. It was great to watch, but also, he looked so good with his new hairdo also!
By the time I had had my hair cut off on the 17th of December, we had raised over £2000 for the little princess trust. I never thought that I would raise that amount of money in such little time. I had over 100 donations, and some of them were from people I didn’t even know! Friends and family of people who I have worked with donated, and people I hadn’t spoken to in 10 years donated! The reaction to this was completely overwhelming. People are really and truly awesome, and I was so pleased that I am a good judge of character based on the responses I have had from the people I keep connected to.