So let me first explain that none of my diagnoses would not have been found if it had not been for my VERY handsy fiancée! We play fight (a lot) but she always uses the excuse that she is just “checking” my boobs when going in for a cheeky grope! Good thing she does too!
We were away for the weekend at a log cabin in Devon with some friends celebrating my 35 when we were sitting on the sofa as she went in for a cuddle, with a graze of the hand across the boob (as you do) but she stopped, and ask how long that lump had been there? I honestly didn’t even know I had a lump. It was based about 2cm above my nipple but was a definitive lump. After some more fumbling on my part this time, we agreed that after the holiday I would get it checked. I wasn’t too worried as I am quite prone to cysts under my armpits, legs and I also have sebaceous cysts between my thighs which have all been checked out.
Within 4 weeks I had had my doctor’s appointment who referred me to the Ladybird Unit @ Poole Hospital to have some further tests. My doctor agreed it could be a cyst but didn’t want to rule anything out. On the 15th of November, I went to my appointment at the hospital. Firstly, I was checked over by the clinical nurse who very quickly could feel the lump so knew we had to investigate it further. I was immediately taken for an ultrasound where they took some pictures of my breast. The Doctor immediately told me then she can see something in the breast, unfortunately, it wasn’t spongy or liquid, but it was a hard mass (therefore, not a cyst) so therefore they wanted to do some additional tests. I went straight in for a mammogram where they scanned both breasts, then back into the room where they took the ultrasound, where I had 5 biopsies taken of the lump. They numbed the area of the lump, stuck a needle into the breast and punched out 5 rice-sized lumps out of the mass. I am one of those people who are interested in procedures and anything medical, so she showed me the biopsies at the end. 5 little rice-sized bits of boob floating round in a beaker – odd but fascinating. I am not sure if it was a quiet day in the Ladybird Clinic, but all of this took less than an hour and a half. After the appointment, they explained the results can take 2-3 weeks to come back, but I should wait for a letter in the post.
Sure enough, 2 weeks later, I had an invitation to meet a Dr E at Poole Hospital on the 1st December. Before attending the appointment, I knew something was not going to be clean sailing. I googled who Dr Evans was, and she is a breast surgeon, who specialises in Breast Cancer and Breast reconstruction. Whoops! I really shouldn’t google these things, but I kept a positive mindset, that she could also do small procedures such as lumpectomies or other small “non-cancerous” operations. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
Diagnoses Day was here – and it took a long time to get here too. I was contemplating going to the appointment on my own, however, Laura was having none of it. She was going to be by my side no matter what. I had no choice from then on. Sat in the waiting room at the Ladybird clinic and my name was called. The next sign that it wasn’t going to be good news was the fact it wasn’t just me, Laura and Dr E, it was also 2 other nurses in the room.
Dr E explained clearly straight away that they had found a mass, it was not normal, and it was in fact cancer. I looked at Laura and I could just see that light glisten in someone’s eye when you know they are trying not to burst out crying. With a tight squeeze to Laura’s leg, I just turned back to Dr E and said OKAY, what’s the plan.
I am a very methodical person, who deals with things in stages. All I wanted to know was what did the next 6 months – 2 years look like, what am I going to have to plan, can I still work etc.
Dr E explained that I have a grade 3 triple-negative invasive ductal carcinoma which is 28mm in my left breast. Unfortunately, due to my tumour being triple-negative, the normal ways of treating this is not available to me. Most cancers can be treated with hormone therapy or other drugs however mine cannot, so the only route is chemotherapy as a starting point.
She explained that due to the cancer I have, she recommended that I start with chemotherapy, then surgery to have to tumour removed, and some of the lymph nodes to ensure it hasn’t spread anywhere else around the body, followed by a round of radiotherapy.
After taking in quite a lot of information, I looked back at Laura and smiled. She just looked me dead in the eye, turned to Dr E and said, “Is this treatable?” Dr E smiled and said “Yes”. The look of fear just faded from Laura’s eyes, as she looked back at me, smiled, and took the biggest sigh of relief I have ever seen. This was completely understandable. Laura had been in this chair before. She had been sitting in front of a Doctor when they explained to her that her mum had terminal cancer and no treatment plan would save her. From that moment Laura became her mum’s carer until she passed away 8 weeks later. The look of relief in her eyes is an image that will stay with me forever. In her next move, she just grabbed my hand and said, “We got this”. And that was that! We have got this; we will follow the plan and do what needs to be done to fight this disease!
Dr E then explained to me, that only 10 – 15% of all breast cancers are Triple Negative, and it is normally caused by having a specific gene called the BRCA gene. It stands for BReast CAncer. She explained that I need to be checked if I have this gene because if I do, it means that I am more susceptible to have breast cancer again in the future and ovarian cancer. She also mentioned that if I do have the gene, then I may want to consider having a mastectomy and a hysterectomy. (in my mind, let’s just get the test done, and I can think about my options later).
The great thing about Poole Hospital is it is also a research hospital, and they are currently trailing a drug called Olaparib for people with Triple Negative Breast Cancer which is having great results alongside the chemotherapy. They have had such an uptake that they are now only doing trials with people who have the BRAC gene. She asked if I would be interested in taking part! Sign me up! Anything to help get rid of this. So straight away, I had a 10-minute chat with the research nurse, signed some paperwork. All I needed to do is have a blood test, and if I do have the gene, I am on the trial.
As Dr E was my surgeon, she explained that I will have a meeting with Dr B, who will be my oncologist moving forward and she will explain the exact course of treatment when I meet with her in a few days.
I thought that was it for the day, but no, Dr E explained to me that because the chemotherapy works so well at shrinking the tumours, they needed to put some markers around the tumour, so that they can find it again for surgery. I was whisked to another room, with a lovely doctor who numbed the area again around the boob and placed 2 metal clamps on the tumour. The only way I can describe it is being punched in the boob with a very thin pen, but it doesn’t hurt in the slightest. The Dr allowed me to watch the screen while she was doing it, was all very clever and very interested that I was able to see the black mass of the tumour in the breast tissue. It didn’t make me worried, just made it all a bit more scientific and factual which helps me process these types of things.
Once this was done, we were sat with a lovely nurse who is my “Go-To” if I have any questions about anything. She gave me lots of useful booklets on cancer, chemotherapy, a list of people to talk to if I wanted to etc. She re-ran through the drug trial information with me and just made sure I was okay. I was fine, I was. I just wanted to get started and get it out the way so I can move on.
By the time I had got home from the hospital, there were 3 of my best friends already there to greet me wanting to hug me and be near me. The news hit my friends a lot harder than it hit me. There were tears and sadness around the house, but none of it was mine. It is never going to be easy being told you have cancer, but to me, this was just a blip in the road. Medical technology is so advanced, I did not see this as a death sentence, just something that I need to tackle for the next few months/years.
After telling the most important people of the outcome, next was a process. What next, what do I have to prepare, what do I need to do, but that evening just involved lots of red wine and hugs with Laura.